there is a garden
growing
here
in my heart
it is bearing witness
it is testifying
it is still as water
it is roaring like water
it says it
needs to be watered
it is fluid
it is flowing

in this stillness
i find motions
that merges
into portals
with passages
and pathways
that reminds me
it is in my darkest hour
that i shine brightest
that i see what i am made of
made in the likeness of
made from
gone and craft yourself a
a whole pandemic to
sit down
and see
how glorious
it is to cultivate
silence

sit with your thoughts
and honor them like they
are your closest confidants
because they are

listen like your life depends on it
because it does

look her softly in the eyes
like you have no other choice
because you dont

befriend your imagination
like you prefer the wild and free
because
you do

sit down
put your phone down
turn the music down
the whole country is on lock down
and you still looking for a place to go

be a good host for once

your heart has been
expanding
has been extending
has been sending
you one invitation
after another
after another
after another
after another
after another
after another

never taking count
of how many times
it has gone unanswered
how many unopened
letters
are piled up
are pouring
out
waiting for you
just to say yes
waiting for you
to look her way
waiting for you to hear that gentle knock on the door
even though youve never opened it before
she stays constant
stays consistent
stays patient
like a loyal friend
keeps a good opinion of you
makes excuses for you
doesnt unfollow you
or block you
or write vague posts on social media
about how unavailable
you are
or uncaring
on incompassionate
or unworthy

just keeps on loving
keeps on showing up
with smiles
and fresh flowers
believes in you
stays hopeful
goes out of the way
for you
packs up the slow cooked
dinner
she made at her house
and brings it to yours
in glass containers
and is waiting at the door
knocking gently
there for you
there for you
waiting for you
to gather all the parts
of your brokenness
and bring them
back whole
for you

dont you know
how it feels
to be in good
and wholesome company
dont you know
that feeling of laughing loud
of crying hard
of dancing long
of being seen
of being welcomed
of being witnessed for
being the wisest
of being held for being
weakest
of feeling all of your forms
affirmed

of knowing you can stay
forever
dont you know that feeling
is so familiar to you
because it
originates
inside
in self
shhhhh
the secret
the sweetest secret
is that
this
world
this
wonder

is called
u

you
are
your
most sacred
scripture
and you
are
the
only one
with the
accurate
translation
transmission
transformations
are
irresistible
when
you
paying attention

so pay attention


i read recently that trauma
can be defined as something you
cant escape
that you cant run from
that you cant turn away from
that you can forget
and it sounded to me
like they was talking bout
God
how glorious
how generous
the signs that guide us
how they surround us
supply us
sustain us

which of the favors of your lord would you deny

which one of the favors of your lord would you deny

which one of the favors of your lord would you deny

without denying
yourself
your soul
your heart
your children
your truth
your ancestors
your mind
your sanity
your god
your prophets
your messages
your messengers


and you still talking bout
you gotta get out the house
that you been home now going on 65 days straight
no you havent
not if home
is where the heart is
not if home is where
your heart is
not if home
is you.

how do you express your care
besides giving of yourself
your complete
and undivided time
besides consciously
deciding
that this
is neither
a fight
or flight
situation

pay attention

transformations are irresistible